Resilience helps you weather life's storms.

RODALE NEWS, EMMAUS, PA—Many of the people who walk into my office are reeling from the impact of a traumatic event—the loss of a loved one, the end of a marriage, a life-threatening illness, loss of a job, a child in trouble. How they handle the trauma determines whether they become overwhelmed, depressed, or ill, or whether they emerge from the crisis stronger, with greater confidence and wisdom.

Nancy, a short, soft-spoken, 36-year-old single mother of a 5-year-old girl, was at that pivotal crossroad. Distraught and exhausted, she had endured three traumatic losses, and was teetering on the verge of losing her ability to cope. In one month during the previous year she had lost her job, moved into a new house, and discovered that her husband was suffering from a rare, incurable blood disease. She cared for him through a dizzying series of medical interventions. He passed away two months before she came to see me.

When she first came to see me, Nancy was feeling overwhelmed with the demands of her new job, her long commute, and being a single mother. She felt guilty about being irritable with her daughter, and held painful, unresolved feelings of anger toward her husband. She was having trouble sleeping, and had lost 15 pounds from her already-thin frame. Over the course of our meetings, she confided that prior to her husband’s illness, he had been very critical and unsupportive of her. In hypnosis, she expressed her anger at him, and was able to forgive him for treating her badly and forgive herself for getting into and staying in their dysfunctional marriage. She envisioned him at peace in a better place. She felt gratitude for what she had—her daughter, her house, her job, and her health. She felt grateful that she had had the strength and commitment to care for her husband through his illness, and that she had grown in wisdom and maturity as a result. We talked about how she could take better care of herself through healthier eating, exercise, and brief periods of meditation in the midst of her hectic life.

I saw Nancy again 10 months after our initial sessions ended. She looked more vibrant, and she had regained the weight and stamina she had lost the year before. Her sleep had improved. She was doing well at her new job, and felt good about her ability to be calmer and more loving toward her daughter. In the previous month, she’d been feeling open to the possibility of a new relationship with a man.