money, fame, beauty, and happiness

Sexy, Rich People: You Should Feel Bad for Them

Study: Earning more money seemed to make recent graduates anxious and depressed, while those who had strong relationships were happiest.

By Leah Zerbe

Topics: mindfulness

Focus on close personal relationships instead of obsessing over your paycheck and working overtime in hopes of a promotion.

Do they look happy? There's a good chance they're not!

05-18-09 RODALE NEWS, EMMAUS, PA—Close your eyes and imagine that in the course of your life, you’ll go on to make and save lots of money, become famous, and turn smokin’ hot. Will it make you happy? Most people probably think so, but new research suggests otherwise. A study to be published this June in the Journal of Research in Personality found that recent college graduates who reported making the most money, obtaining more public recognition, and liking the way they looked were also more anxious, and showed more depressive symptoms, than other postgraduates in the study. “Not only were they not feeling better than they were at the start of the study, they were actually feeling worse,” says Edward Deci, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York.

THE DETAILS: Researchers at the University of Rochester in New York studied 147 alumni during their second year after graduating from college. They used psychological surveys to learn about the young adults’ feelings of satisfaction with life, self-esteem, anxiety, physical signs of stress, and their experience of positive and negative emotions. One year after graduation, and again 12 months later, researchers questioned the participants on values, asking them to rate how much they valued deep, enduring relationships and helping others improve their lives, versus being a wealthy person and achieving the look they’ve been after. The ones who reported making the most money, gaining recognition, and enjoying their images showed the most signs of anxiety and depression. The research was supported in part by a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health.

WHAT IT MEANS: Why don’t seemingly desirable goals like wealth and beauty pay off as expected? Perhaps because they distract people from more rewarding pursuits. “When you get too focused on the American dream—goals of being rich, famous, and beautiful—you start ignoring spending time in meaningful relationships, ignoring paying attention to yourself and growing as a human being, ignoring ways in which you could volunteer and give back to the community,” explains Deci. Not that it’s bad to be ambitious or to work hard to succeed. But this study implies that it’s unrealistic to expect that kind of success to make you happy.

Here are some ways to find your own path to happiness:

• Keep a perspective on beauty. Don’t get too hung up on your appearance, because after all, beauty is pretty superficial, Deci says. And it may not be true that attractive people are more likely to get ahead. A study to be published this month in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that people with the highest intelligence scores earn more money during their lifetime, and report less financial strain, than people with high beauty scores.

• Favor meaning over materialism. Trying to keep up with your friends or that cousin who seems to have everything going his way is a setup for disaster. “The important thing is being who you truly are. That you really accept yourself for who you are, and live your life accordingly in a full and meaningful way,” says Deci. In his study, researchers found that those who had strong relationships (which requires accepting people for who they are, listening, and being there when they need you—not just when it’s convenient) and volunteered in their community were happiest.

• Schedule a sit-down with yourself. Know yourself deeply and fully, and explore aspects of yourself you’ve been afraid to pay attention to in the past. Knowing yourself helps you focus on things that are really important. Some people go to group therapy in their communities to speed up the process, but if you’re determined enough, Deci says you can do this solo, too. “You’ve got to be ruthless. Ask something about yourself and come up with an immediate answer, but don’t trust it for a minute. Ask if it’s really so,” he suggests. Question all your assumptions about what’s important to you, and see if you can defend them. You may find that working 80-hour weeks to get a promotion is secondary to spending time with family and friends.

Sexy Rich People

Posted on July 6th, 2009 by Ron Stapleton

I really tried to think of something trite and nasty, but this article is beyond belief and reason, poor babes. Just another indictment on where we are, maybe some relief for these folks if they can bilk some old person for their millions too.

Bad source!

Posted on July 6th, 2009 by Mike

I can only assume that this Edward Deci, PhD character was involved in the study. While I do not dispute the study's accuracy or reliability, I take great exception to Deci's definition of the American Dream. It is a very cynical mind that places "goals of being rich, famous, and beautiful" at the forefront. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness have been the American dream since the country's inception. As we can see from this study some pursue happiness in the wrong places. At least they are free to do so.

Not extremely rich

Posted on June 2nd, 2009 by Cory

I think the article isn’t about those ridiculously rich who have all the time in the world to travel, laugh with their friends and volunteer. It’s about those who earn more than average, through very hard, stressful work. The kind of work that eats up all your time and lives you empty of energy and emotions.

the mental well being of "the sexy and rich"

Posted on May 30th, 2009 by dan

This article makes me mad. Being rich or pretty doesn't make someone a better person or a person more deserving of sympathy or pity...it just makes them rich or pretty. If someone's depressed as a result of that then by all means let them wallow in their own depression and passive aggressive angst. Because I guarantee that they'll lose their blues as soon as they look in a mirror or check their finances.

been there done that

Posted on May 24th, 2009 by Voodoo

im rich and beautiful. And when I die and reincarnate im gonna be rich and beautiful again. Im gonna do this for the next 4 or 5 hundred lives cause im scared of the hard lives. Only problem is that the hard lives are the ones where you grow up spiritually and finally get to move on. Sad that the trade off for being rich and beautiful is that you are stuck on this mudball.

You should feel bad for them?

Posted on May 18th, 2009 by Jane

Believing that all wealthy people are unhappy or unfulfilled, or that they don't have satisfying relationships is such a limiting belief. It's like saying all poor people are miserable because they don't have anything.

There are many wealthy people who DO share their wealth...in major ways. I always hear that rich people are greedy or stuck-up, or whatever. It has been my experience, that wealthy people who are greedy, were greedy when they weren't wealthy. If they are boobs with money, then they were boobs when they didn't have it.

Money brings out the very worst AND the very best in people. People don't change. Whoever they were before money is who they are with money, only magnified.

Having money is not a bad thing in and of itself. You can help a lot of people with money, and many do. But to judge them all as being a certain way is very innacurate.

There are wealthy people who value their relationships over their money. Wealthy people KNOW that money doesn't bring happiness. Any who are looking for happiness through money learn very quickly that you can't buy it.

As far as doing what you love, many people who have made it, ARE doing what they love.

Sexy Rich People - You Should Feel Bad for Them

Posted on May 18th, 2009 by Angela

Hogwash! The only people who complain about having too much are those who have too much. It's just another form of their greed. Not only do they want wealth and beauty but they want your sympathy as well. They want the problems of the middle class, the concern given to the poor. Rich people are selfish! Okay for one moment let's entertain the thought that wealth and beauty don't make you happy... Well, give it up! Get rid of the money, it's easier to loose than to gain. Stop going to the spa and spending 100's of dollars on shoe laces. Just stop. It is so much easier to not have than to have.

I feel the same about celebrities whining about their pr issues. Don't accept that next movie and believe me you will be forgotten quickly.

I feel bad for people who are stuck in circumstances they do not have the resources to change. Not the poor little rich people who comfort their wounded hearts by going to Paris or buying a new car.

If you've got it then appreciate it and be quiet. Goodness knows if I had it you wouldn't here a peep outta me!

Happiness vs $$$$$

Posted on May 18th, 2009 by Francine

Thanks! We were just talking about that... The sunrise and sunset don't cost a thing but the time to enjoy them. Same goes for 'the birds and the bees...and the flowers and the trees and the moon up above... and a thing call LOVE!!!!!!'
Merci et Bonne journée! Go out and enjoy it!

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