RODALE NEWS, EMMAUS, PA—As you age, it may be easy to gauge health by the number of medications you're taking or the digits on a scale. But one important factor you shouldn't lose track of is sex. "Healthy sexuality is a part of healthy aging," says Linda Waite, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, and director of the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project (NSHAP). Sex is healthy in multiple ways, she says. "It's exercise, and it's a unique type of social connection."
THE DETAILS: Researchers dissected data from NSHAP and published 14 articles in a special issue of The Journals of Gerontology. The studies arose from research undertaken when more than 3,000 older adults answered questions about their recent sexual relationships between 2005 and 2006 in surveys taken at the University of Chicago.
Researchers discovered that in the 57- to 64-year-old age group, 62 percent of women and 84 percent of men reporting having sex with a partner during the last year. That dropped sharply in the oldest group (75- to 85-year-olds), in which 17 percent of women and 38 percent of men reported having sex with a partner in the last year.
WHAT IT MEANS: If your sex life seems like it's been on an open-ended sabbatical, don't throw in the towel. Men and women tend to view sex very differently over the years, but if you learn how to best deal with those differences, you could find yourself improving your situation between the sheets in no time. And Waite says the benefits aren't limited to coitus. "We looked at anything that you did with a partner that was emotional, erotic, or a physical connection of some sort," Waite says. "Cuddling, touching, kissing; anything with another person that you find arousing."
Read on to find out further about incorporating more sex into your life.
Here's how to improve your sex life in your golden years:
• ID and fix medical roadblocks to sex. If you're obese or depressed you may not feel like having sex all that much. And some antidepressant drugs, particularly those in the SSRI drug class, can lead to even more disinterest in sex. Luckily, exercise can improve all of these problems and could help you get in the mood. However, if you have a physical problem, such as erectile dysfunction (the most common sexual problem reported by men in the study), or severe depression that requires drugs, talk to your doctor about solutions that suit your situation but won't sap your sex drive.
• Put in woo time. The NSHAP research found that men and women look at sex differently as they age. For instance, a whopping 52 percent of women between the ages of 75 and 85 say that sex is not important (compared to 35 percent in the 65- to 74-year-old group). For men 75 to 85, just 26 percent say sex is not important (compared to 14 percent in the 65- to 74-year-old category). Clearly, this shows a difference of opinion that can greatly impact a quality sex life in older adults. But Waite says there are ways around it. She suggests trying to see sex as something that's good for the individual and for the relationship. To rekindle romance, focus on your partner, not just yourself. "Anything people do to be romantic, whether it means making a special dinner, having a glass of wine, going away some place, or giving massages. Making an effort to listen to and focus the other person can help rekindle the fire for partners who have been married for decades," she says. And from her research, Waite notes it's pretty clear that for women, sexual interest is responsive. "If [a man] waits for the woman to initiate, he may be waiting forever," she says. "But women often resonate to the interest from a spouse. Men might take a little time to woo their wife or partner."
• Find alternatives. If you've lost your loved one and aren't ready to get into another sexual relationship, Waite says there are still opportunities to build meaningful relationships to benefit your health. While research for her project has found it's usually women who lose their partner first, no matter what your sex, you can find other social connections, and use exercise and touch to support healthy aging. "You might consider getting a massage; being touched is good for people," she says. Spending time with friends or relatives can also help. So can joining card-playing group, or even adopting a cat or dog from a shelter. That's because oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is released when we're touched by people we care about. It's not a sexual thing, just the way our bodies are wired to respond to social contact. (See our story Boost Your Love Hormone Levels...Naturally for more on this.)
• Understand the benefits. Sex has many benefits, and the more you understand them, the more you may want to indulge. To learn more about some of the more interesting ones, check out our 6 Surprising Benefits of Sex slideshow.